As often the case after a long weekend, or a memorable day/event, the comeback to the status quo of everyday life, to the dullness of the moments and the predictability of actions and people is harsh, not to say cruel – borderline evil. All we want , is to go back, to that “memory”, “feeling”, “connection”, “euphoria”, “exuberance” etc . The return to the “here” and “now” brings with it a draining yet palpable sensation that the current reality will starve us from the enlightenment we had acquired over the previous weekend, day or event. I have always assumed that life happens on the other side – the other side of the “here” and my assumption has thus far been true to its word. Yet ….
In Yoga, we focus on the here and now. We bring our energies and physical exertion to dance this seductive dance bordering on the euphoric, yet we maintain our rooting in the moment. We breathe for the moment, confirming that the past has passed and that the future hasn’t yet arrived and we transcend on/in the moment. After all, the aim is that one elusive posture that forces us into this reality. In exhaustion, we let go and we move on. We do not linger on that single moment of oneness with the body and soul but absorb the cosmic energy and head out in the world and come back another day to do more, feel more.
While roller-blading, my every glide is just focused on the moment. Every curve, twist, jump is inherently focused on that single moment. One glimpse back or an extra look ahead may shatter my reality and consequently my bones. So my focus again is on the “here” and “now” and it is done with such clarity, that I would never assume otherwise. The workout complete, I stretch my tired body and think of how enraptured by speed and adrenaline I was and how happy and junkied-up I felt but that was the past and I let go of it easily without lingering or craving for that feeling and head out in the world knowing that the roads are mine yet again tomorrow.
Climbing requires, focus, attention, synchronicity with your belaying partner and a keen sense of self, of sight and of hearing. The rope, your carabineer, your harness, your chalk, your quickdraws, your climbing shoes and your breath are your lovers. The feeling is hard to describe. It is the most “here” and “now” sentiment I have ever lived or experienced and it draws me back into its dark folds with tentacles of addiction. Again , after the sheer exertion of a successful climb or a sorry attempt of one, I let my endorphins shape my brain for a while, shake it off pack up and head out in to the world thinking only of how awesome a day it was and how flabbergasted I will be on my next climb.
And the list goes on and on for me and for many other with different examples spanning from the mundane to the extreme, so I am counting on you to relate.
So why is it that we get this restless feeling, the so called “itch”, the famous “boredom” when we get back to the routine of life and work? After much deliberation, long conversations and heated debates with many and after confronting my own eternal demons, I have come to notice and realize that people are seldom happy and content with how their life is. Their work is tedious and boring, lacking the spark that has brought them to do what they are doing in the first place, their family situation is volatile lacking the spark that had defined the earlier years and becoming sedentary, their reactiveness to changing their status quo and to actually take a chance or a risk on something reaching unprecedented low levels, the routine of the week brings back health concerns or obstacles, rich and fame has rendered them blasé about life and experiences and the list is long…. And in the midst of those and a lot more, you also feel that the “other’s” life, yes that other person across from you or behind their computer or walking their dog has been dealt a better hand and you just passively watch them embrace the life that you don’t have. Did I hit a nail?
Don’t get me wrong. There are things in life that you can change and things you cannot. There are things I mentioned above that you feel and things that you don’t. Things I haven’t mentioned and that you alone feel. The aim here is not to tell you(me) how to change what can be changed but to point out with relish that we need to acknowledge our feelings and try to capture those “here” and “now” moment we have experienced in our life, enjoy them, bask in their glory and move on. It is bloody hard let me tell you – I know from experience that I feel lethargic and dreadfully dreary every Monday and I live for those beautiful moments of happiness that make the difference. I know my curse and cross , I know what will make my experiences homogeneously delightful and spread over everything I do, I also know what will soften the blow and render the boring exciting , I also realize that things need to change one step at a time– but knowing is one thing , acting is another. Right?
Why?
Written by – me
